give

sometimes I wake up missing something I never lost
sometimes I loose things I never had
sometimes I have things I never needed
sometimes I need things I never knew
sometimes I know things I never fought
sometimes I fight things I never understood
sometimes I understand things you never say
sometimes you say things I regret
sometimes I regret what I cannot forget
sometimes I forget things I am
sometimes I am the things I promised
sometimes I promise things you don't trust
sometimes I trust you to try
sometimes I try to tell the demons away
sometimes I tell myself enough is enough
sometimes I tell myself I'm not enough
sometimes I wish I was

and sometimes I can almost belive that even though I can't fight my own wars, I can win yours. and then you can quiet mine.
but some time I will give up if you give nothing.

choice. begging.

They say beggars can't be choosers. Most true. If you don't have anything and you're aching desperately for something, you take what you're offered. No comment. No fuss. You just take it and be grateful.

But there's also the other side of the coin. Choosers can't be beggars. As long as you have a choice, as long as you make a choice, there's no begging allowed. Embrace your choice. Own it.

So I'll make my choice such that I never have to need to beg.

the war

The worst thing about being at war with yourself is that no matter what you do, you always loose. And unlike the usual wars, it can also end without no one winning. Most of the times you just have a pretty good chance to loose on all fronts and in all ways.
And there will always be other casualties. Innocent bystanders who just happened in your life. Or even the people who care about either you or your sworn enemy self.
So what can you do? Well... you could do the cowardly thing and just run as fast you can. But really, do you honestly think you can outrun yourself? So please, for your sake, and mine, and theirs, offer me a truce and just try and get along.

people like doors like people

Reasons why people are like doors:

• some are transparent and automatically open to anyone that comes near
• they have spyholes to watch the outside world, and a few even have keyholes you can use to peep at the inside
  
• most have many complicated locks, but all can be opened with the right key(s)
• the outside rarely says the truth about what's behind
• forced entry breaks them